Thursday, October 23, 2014

I know, it's hard to forgive, but . . .

Have you forgiven? I have. 

It's not easy. 

I was badly wounded by people I loved and trusted. It nearly destroyed me.

I realized to move forward, I must forgive. Then I became a serial forgiver, having to forgive over and again the same ones who hurt me so badly. 

I'd forgive. But the feelings of hurt, rejection, and shame would return. And so would my bitterness. Those people were no longer in my life and were a thousand miles away, but every once in a while the pain would pop up as fresh as the first sting of betrayal.

So I'd forgive. Again.

It's not easy.

It took me over a decade to come to grips with the pain of betrayal and rejection. 

It's not easy.

I chose to embrace this thought, "When we forgive it doesn't mean the pain never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives."

Did you catch that? Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer has control over our emotions. 

If you've been wounded, I hope you can forgive. Forgiveness gives you a sense of power that allows you to face the pain and move beyond it. 

Forgiveness gives you freedom, and that freedom opens a door. 


It's not easy. 

But forgive anyway.


Pia Thompson said...

Thanks, Megan. I'm working through some feelings and want to forgive someone and move on. It's not easy, but acknowledging the feelings as legitimate helps me deal with it and then hopefully get past it. I don't want to end up bitter.

Tina Ann Forkner said...

This is beautiful, Megan. Thank you for sharing it. It really is heart, but you are right. Not forgiving destroys us. You have such a tender heart and that's why I've always liked you so much.

Megan DiMaria said...

Praying for you to move forward, Pia. Tina, thanks for the sweet words.

Gina said...

I'm at the point where I think I've forgiven, but the pain pops up every now and then sometimes when I don't expect it. Do you think that's just the process, to keep forgiving until there's nothing left?

Megan DiMaria said...

Yes, Gina. I absolutely think that's part of the process. I think it also speaks to the level of pain/betrayal you've experienced. Something so deep does not dissipate so easily.