Where's the shame?

For quite a while I've believed that our culture is lacking in shame. This isn't the first time I've discussed this. People strut around doing all manner of awful things without even a twinge of shame. If there was more shame, there would be less bad behavior. People simple don't care that they act inappropriately. And for a more civilized society, they should care.

The latest example is Jesse James admitting that he has forgiven himself for repeatedly cheating on his former wife Sandra Bullock. As he says, "Oh, yeah. I'm cool."

I hope I'm not the only person who's disgusted with this immature, self-centered jerk. He said only the media portrayed his behavior as negative and justified himself by saying, "Yes, I cheated on my wife, but so do a lot of other people." Blech!

Last week a Facebook friend posted a link to a story that discusses something our culture needs to give some thought to. The article's called The Death of Shame. Take a look.

What do you think?

Expectations and Disappointments and Novels

Today on my walk I took some time to stop and smell the honeysuckle. The yellow-flowered vine groped a wooden arbor and leaned against a fence along the sidewalk where my little dog and I meandered.

I held my expectations in check as I approached the flowers because while honeysuckle are known for their sweet and fragrant blooms, they don't always deliver on their promise. Take for instance the honeysuckle vine that used to grow in my yard. That's it in the photo. It was beautiful and seemingly healthy, but the flowers were lacking in fragrance. It was a huge disappointment. The previous vine in my yard died, and this beautiful replacement had no aroma.

Despite being beautiful and healthy, my honeysuckle did not satisfy. It didn't live up to my (reasonable) expectation that it would perfume my backyard with a heady fragrance.

And therein lies the lesson. Not every beautiful, desirable, or useful thing will live up to our expectations. Often when we least expect it, something (or someone) will be a huge disappointment.

Since I'm fond of letting my imagination have free rein while I walk, today I considered what kind of novel could be written that would incorporate this lesson. And my mind is churning up all manner of ideas . . .

Oh, and if you're wondering about the fate of that fragrance-free vine, it's no longer growing in my yard. An Aspen shoot volunteered to grow alongside it, and since I had to make a choice, I chose the tree.

ACFW Conference

Often I'll get emails from writers asking for advice to help them get published. The best advice I can offer is to join a writers' group. If you write fiction, I recommend ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers).

ACFW holds an AMAZING conference each year in September. This year the conference will be in St. Louis, Missouri from September 22nd to the 25th.

I won't be joining the 600+ other authors this year because my 1st grandbaby is due to enter the world on September 21st (!!!). BUT if you're considering attending, check out the conference information here. And also take a look at the ACFW Blog.

How to Interpret Dreams and Visions

I had the opportunity to review How to Interpret Dreams and Visions, a straightforward book that's easy to read and offers interesting insight into the meanings of dreams. This book will have a home in my library and will be pulled out for reference from time to time.

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

Today's Wild Card author is:

Perry Stone

and the book:

How to Interpret Dreams and Visions

Charisma House (May 3, 2011)

***Special thanks to Anna Coelho Silva | Publicity Coordinator, Charisma House | Charisma Media for sending me a review copy.***

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Perry Stone is the best-selling author of numerous books, including The Meal That Heals and Breaking the Jewish Code. He directs one of America’s fastest-growing ministries, The Voice of Evangelism. An international evangelist, Perry holds a BA in theology from Covenant Life Christian College. He lives in Cleveland, Tennessee, with his wife, Pam, and their two children.


Visit the author's website.

SHORT BOOK DESCRIPTION:

Is God Trying to Tell You Something?
Have you ever had a dream or vision that was so vivid that it remained with you for days? It is possible that your dream had a spiritual connotation and your vision was a message from God.

In How to Interpret Dreams and Visions, best-selling author and evangelist Perry Stone explains the guidance and warnings encrypted in our visions and dreams. With his unique blend of Bible knowledge and spiritual insight he provides answers to questions such as…

Is my dream really from God?How do I distinguish between types of spiritual visions?Why am I having nightmares or unclean dreams?· What do my dreams of a departed loved one mean?





Product Details:

List Price: $15.99
Paperback: 256 pages
Publisher: Charisma House (May 3, 2011)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 161638350X
ISBN-13: 978-1616383503

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

The Last Days— Time to Pierce the Veil



But their minds were blinded. For until this day the same veil remains unlifted in the reading of the Old Testament, because the veil is taken away in Christ. But even to this day, when Moses is read, a veil lies on their heart. Nevertheless when one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the

Lord is, there is liberty.


-2 Corinthians 3:14–17



The spirit world is as real as the air we breathe and the water we drink. The natural realm is a reflection of the spirit world. Earthly things are patterned after heavenly things. (See

Hebrews 8:1–5.) Our world consists of trees, rivers, mountains, and cities. The heavenly city, New Jerusalem, has the tree of life, the crystal river of life, and a mountain where God is worshiped called Mount Zion (Rev. 22:1–5). These heavenly realities were the original Creation that was reflected on Earth when God created man. Humanity has struggled to believe in a world that cannot be seen with the eyes, touched with the hands, or smelled when we breathe.


To the skeptic, angels are myths, and demonic spirits are the dark imagination of Hollywood scripts. The prevailing attitude is the Thomas syndrome, which says, “Unless I can see it and touch it, I will never believe it” (John 20:25, author’s paraphrase). The fact is that there is an invisible veil covering both the natural eyes and the spiritual understanding of men and women, and only when the veil is lifted or pierced can the realities of the invisible realm become visible. The Bible is a book written by forty different authors over a period of about fifteen hundred years of time that tells the story of men called prophets who were inspired of the Lord and who pierced this veil and saw marvelous eternal and heavenly images that brought to mankind the revelation of God.

Paul wrote that there is a veil, similar to scales, over the eyes of our understanding that clouds the light of God’s revelation from entering into our minds and enlightening us with life-changing insight. If we live behind this veil, then we will never know or experience God’s best for us. This veil, which at times manifests as a lack of interest in spiritual matters, a dullness in our understanding, or a spirit of unbelief toward the idea of Bible-based spiritual manifestations, must be lifted to experience the unseen. This ability to see the future was the gift that set apart the biblical prophets from their false counterparts in surrounding idolatrous nations. These Hebrew visionaries had a reputation for knowing the unknown behind closed doors.


One such example can be seen when a Syrian general sent his army to capture one of God’s prophets, Elisha. When Elisha’s servant saw the army, fear gripped him. However, after Elisha prayed for the eyes of his servant to be opened, the fear turned to faith as the servant saw horses and chariots of fire encamped round about them both, forming a protective hedge. (See 2 Kings 6:8–17.) There is a covering of some sort on our physical eyes, which prevents us from seeing the activity of the spirit world. However, when we sleep, we are still able to see images through dreams or visions. In Scripture, men like the apostle John recorded these dreams and visions. John was on an island when he suddenly saw a “door in heaven open,” or as we would say, “heaven open,” and this opening projected his mind and spirit into another world, a world just as real as the world we live in. (See Revelation 4:1; 19:11.) These two biblical incidents from Revelation indicate two important facts: something occurs on Earth and something occurs in heaven to cause information to be released and the veil removed. On Earth our eyes must be “opened.” This happens when our inner vision, which creates the images in our brain at night, receives information from the heavenly realm, which “opens,” allowing eternal information to pass from the heavenly realm to the earthly realm.


One question posed by sincere seekers is: “Why would God be concerned about revealing events to us that have not yet occurred?” A simple answer is that He does so to prepare us for something or to cause us to intercede in prayer to prevent or to change a situation.

For example, when King Hezekiah was informed by Isaiah to set his house in order because he would soon die, the king began to earnestly pray, and his death was delayed for fifteen years (Isa. 38:1–5).


Another reason God is concerned is because He knows we need to

understand certain events in the future.


Why is the Spirit World Veiled?


Human eyes cannot see into the spirit world. God is a Spirit (John 4:24). Angels are spirits (Heb. 1:13–14). Satan’s kingdom is organized into four levels of spirit rebels (Eph. 6:12), and every man is a tripartite creation of a body, a soul, and a spirit, or, as some teach, a spirit with a soul living in a body (1 Thess. 5:23).


In the time of Adam and Eve, God entered the Garden of Eden and communicated directly with man by walking through the garden in the cool of the day (Gen. 3:8). Adam and Eve could see and hear God clearly. After they fell into sin, “the eyes of both of them were opened,” and they saw they were naked and felt shame (Gen. 3:7). Although their eyes were opened, at the same time their eyes were veiled. From that moment forward, angelic visitors appeared in the form of a vision, a dream, or would take upon themselves human form, just as the two angelic messengers did when instructed by the Almighty to investigate the sins of Sodom. (See Genesis 19.) Even the writer of Hebrews wrote to be careful when entertaining a stranger because you might not be aware that it is an angel (Heb. 13:2).


If our eyes could be opened and the veil lifted, we would continually see angels, demonic entities, and other forms of spirit beings. While some may wish to see into the invisible realm, the fact is that when great men of God and Hebrew prophets have pierced this veil and seen, for example, angels in their full glory, the reactions have normally been to fall down and be gripped with an overwhelming feeling of fear. Abraham fell into a deep trance (Gen. 15:12) and fell on his face when God talked to him (Gen. 17:3, 17). Ezekiel describes seeing the Almighty upon His throne, with cherubim and amazing heavenly beings appearing like wheels spinning within wheels (Ezek. 1), and he too fell upon his face (v. 28). In several instances when a vision of God or the angelic realm manifested, the prophet fell down upon his face (Ezek. 9:8; 43:3; 44:4). Daniel described an angelic visitor with brass-colored arms and feet, white hair, a gold belt, and eyes like fire. His reaction was so visibly powerful that even the men with him who did not see the vision became overwhelmed and began “quaking” and fled, hiding themselves (Dan. 10:5–7, kjv). Daniel found himself on his face with no strength remaining in his body (vv. 8–9). When John saw the resurrected Christ in heaven, he “fell at His feet as dead” (Rev. 1:17). Even Balaam’s donkey fell down when it saw an angel of the Lord (Num. 22:27)!


When the veil is lifted and a mere mortal taps into not just a vision or dream, but into the actual unseen world of angels, demons, heaven, or hell, the human body is unable to sustain the glory of the heavenly realm without responding in some manner. If we could live with our spiritual eyes continually opened, I suggest we would never get any work done and would be continually disrupted in our sleep.


Scripture instructs believers to “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor. 5:7). I cannot physically see God, but I believe in God because of the Bible’s evidence and because I have faith that undergirds my confidence in the Word. With my human eyes I am unable to spot an angel flying through the heavens or a cosmic conflict between warring angels and prince spirits called the “spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places” (Eph. 6:12). However, because my inner being is also a “spirit,” I can at times sense or feel the presence of the Lord, the warmth and peace of an angel, or the dark oppressive

wicked spirits that are in my earth zone. To pierce the curtain of the unseen, a believer must be in tune to that particular realm of spiritual activity.


When my seventy-seven-year-old father was praying for my twenty year-old son, who was kneeling before him at Dad’s small home in Tennessee, with tears in his eyes my father said to Jonathan, “There is a future.” He was encouraging his grandson not to just live for the moment but to discover, plan, and prevail for his future, which the Lord has already laid out for him and his little sister. At that moment I realized that this is what life is really all about—the future. When God laid out a detailed plan for man’s redemption from sin, He prepared the details long before Adam fell. Jesus is called “the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world” (Rev. 13:8). When Christ was praying before His death, He said that God had loved Him from “before the foundation of the world” (John 17:24). God planned a future for all of mankind before Adam and Eve were created and fell into sin!


Once man sinned, God Himself released the first prophecy by predicting that the seed of the woman would bruise the head of the serpent (Gen. 3:15). God spoke this about four thousand years before Mary gave birth to the Messiah (Luke 2). After Cain slew his brother, Abel, God wasted no time in replacing Abel with Adam and Eve’s new addition to the family, a son named Seth who would initiate a nine-generation lineage of righteous men, leading up to tenth man from Adam, Noah. (See Genesis 5.) God continually has your future on His mind and in His purpose


The Almighty’s passion for the future is also witnessed in the fact that God thinks generationally. When God established His covenant through Abraham, He was planning that Abraham’s descendants would become a nation. First God promised Abraham a son and to make a “great nation” from Abraham’s children (Gen. 12:2). Years later God predicted that Abraham would be “a great and mighty nation” (Gen. 18:18). Years passed, and then God visited Abraham’s grandson Jacob, changing his name from Jacob to Israel. God enlarged His promise by saying to Jacob, “A nation and a company of nations shall proceed from you” (Gen. 35:11). After the nation of Israel expanded from seventy souls to more than six hundred thousand men of war (Exod. 1:5; 12:37), the Lord announced that the nation would be “blessed above all peoples” (Deut. 7:14). From one simple individual, Abraham, to seventy souls who went into Egypt under Joseph, in four hundred years the nation grew to six hundred thousand men marching through the Red Sea and on to the millions of Jewish people now in the world. God was beginning the preparations for one large family called the children of Israel when He was making covenant with one man—Abraham! This is why God changed Abram’s name (meaning “father”) to Abraham, meaning “father of many” (Gen. 17:5). Israel began with a dream and a vision!


Securing confidence and boldness for the future is so significant to the Almighty that He allowed men to enter into the dream dimension and receive vital knowledge for themselves, for their leaders, or for the nations in which they were given authority. A few examples of significant dreams that altered situations, set destinies, or brought prophetic knowledge are:


. God warned King Abimelech with the threat of death if he didn’t return Sarah to Abraham (Gen. 20:6–7).

. God confirmed in a dream for Jacob to leave Laban, taking his wives and sons to Canaan (Gen. 31).

. God prepared Joseph’s future by giving him two prophetic dreams when he was a teenager (Gen. 37).

. God allowed Joseph to interpret the dreams of the butler and the baker while in prison (Gen. 40).

. Joseph interpreted both dreams of Pharaoh and prepared for a seven-year famine (Gen. 41).

. It was the “barley cake dream” that gave Gideon confidence to fight the Midianites (Judg. 7).

. God appeared to Solomon in a dream, granting his request for the gift of wisdom (1 Kings 3).

. Daniel was the only man in Babylon capable of interpreting the dream of the metallic image (Dan. 2).

. Daniel later interpreted Nebuchadnezzar’s “tree dream,” predicting the downfall of the king (Dan. 4).

. Daniel experienced a major prophetic dream of world empires symbolized by wild beasts (Dan. 7).


Nearly six thousand years of human history have demonstrated that just because God plans a person’s future, it is no guarantee that opposition will not eclipse the light of the revelation. There is a plan by the kingdom of darkness to distract, disrupt, and destroy the future, both God’s prophetic plan and your personal destiny. Each person is said to have a “destiny,” which is simply your future according to God. Just as God revealed to Jeremiah that He foreknew him when he was still in his mother’s womb and that He preordained him to be a prophet (Jer. 1:5), God has a predetermined plan for each person. With all of the clutter and clamor and mixed voices speaking into our lives, our minds can become cloudy and our understanding fogged with numerous possibilities from which we must choose. This is why at times God will permit a believer to pierce the world of the natural and enter the realm of a dream or a vision so that secret strategies of the enemy can be exposed and the hidden plans of God can be revealed. Warnings that are perceived and received can help you avoid potholes and pits in your path to destiny, and understanding God’s plan will empower you to pursue that purpose.


The disrupting of God’s will in our lives can begin at a very early age. During major prophetic cycles and seasons of prophetic fulfillment, children come under severe attack from the adversary. This was seen when Pharaoh ordered the male infants born to the Hebrews to be cast into the Nile River (Exod. 1:22). The time was coming when a deliverer would bring the Hebrews out of Egypt, and the adversary was no doubt attempting to preempt the prophecy by killing the possible male child deliverer before he could become a man! The second assignment of an evil ruler was when Herod commissioned Roman soldiers to encircle the area of Ramah and kill all male children who were under two years of age, attempting to slay the future king of the Jews that the wise men came to worship (Matt. 2).


From a personal perspective, if we survive our birth and live to be teenagers, other battles begin. When he was a teenager (age seventeen), a plot was organized against Joseph by his own brothers (Gen. 37). They were sick of this dreamer, Daddy’s favorite little spoiled boy, running around with an expensive coat! Joseph was doing well until he began to confess his dreams of success that would come to him. At that point his brothers conspired against him, and Joseph ended up in a pit, then in a prison, and spent thirteen years in what seemed negative, dream-killing circumstances.


I was a young teenager when the Lord began to reveal to me His will and I began planning for it. I encountered various types of verbal persecution from my own spiritual brothers in the same denomination of which I was a member. When David—just a

teen—was anointed by Samuel as the next king “in the midst of his brothers,” jealousy arose among certain brothers much older who may have felt they deserved the position more than their kid brother (1 Sam. 16:13; 17:28).


When I was a teenager, the Holy Spirit inspired me to organize a ministry called Voice of Evangelism when I had only preached in three states. Ministers said, “Perry isn’t the voice of anything, much less of evangelism.” They were correct from the natural perspective but wrong in the Spirit. The Lord had a future for me! At age eighteen

I formed a “7-Point Outreach Plan” that included a ministry outreach through books, revival meetings, magazines, and other forms of branching out. Then I began overhearing statements like: “Who does he think he is, Billy Graham or Oral Roberts?” Without sounding arrogant, I knew something these other men did not know. I had a small glimpse into the future. I had both heard and seen in my spirit and through dreams and prayer that I would be used of the Lord to one day have a worldwide ministry Thus, once you see your future, you can learn how to hold off the adversity and know why there is opposition against your destiny!


Watch out for that girl!


When my father, Fred Stone, was a young, black-haired teenage minister, he met a very attractive girl about his age who was gifted in playing the piano and singing. Of course, the common belief was that if you were a minister, your wife needed to be a singer or musician. The girl took a liking to him. However, Dad had a dream in which he saw this girl coming out of a barn embracing a young man. He realized the girl was having relations with this boy. He heard a voice say, “I have warned you; have nothing to do with that girl.” Dad said that after this dream, the girl tried to get close to him in friendship; he would say hello but go no further. Even Dad’s uncle, a noted minister, rebuked Dad for not expressing more interest in such a talented young girl. But three months later the girl’s father told Dad’s uncle he was glad Dad had not formed a relationship with his daughter, because she was pregnant out of wedlock by a fellow she knew.


When I was the same age as my father, a similar situation was repeated in my life. I was eighteen years of age, traveling from church to church conducting weekly revivals. At one location, a family I knew with a daughter about my age wanted me to go out with her to eat. My policy was to only go out with a group of young people and avoid going out alone with the opposite sex. Soon she began to speak to friends that she was serious about me and thought our friendship could lead to eventual marriage. At the same time I dreamed that she was pregnant. In the dream the Lord told me to avoid her. The same week, three noted ministers spoke to me in confidence and said, “You must be careful around this girl. There is something not right about her.” I sent word to her through a friend not to have any contact with me again. One month later it was confirmed that she was pregnant, and she married the father of the child shortly thereafter. Years later she and her mother came to hear me minister in a church and asked to speak with me. Her mother, a very godly woman, required her to apologize to me for plotting to pull me into her situation without my knowledge. The girl said, “I was hoping you would suddenly fall in love with me and marry me before anyone knew I was pregnant with this man’s baby.”


In both cases, more than twenty-six years apart, the same type of snare was laid for Dad and me. By following the same type of dreams and inward warnings, we both avoided missing the will of God and entering into a situation that would have been not only questionable but also embarrassing and detrimental to our early ministries. These


illustrations reveal how strategies are set to disrupt God’s purposes, but God is concerned about the details of our personal lives because circumstances affect our destiny!


Often when we think of a spiritual dream we envision a visitation that warns us of national calamity or an international warning on the same level as what the Old Testament prophets received when warning the priests and the kings of coming calamity. However, God has indicated in Scripture that He is concerned for each individual and not just for the collective population of a nation. Christ revealed that the Father watched a sparrow fall to the ground and saw the lilies in the field grow (Matt. 10:29; Luke 12:28), and if the Almighty is concerned for the smallest in His creation, how much more is His concern manifested toward man, who is made in His image (Gen. 1:26).


The Need to Know


The understanding of the Book of Daniel was sealed “until the time of the end,” when “knowledge shall increase” (Dan. 12:4). Numerous prophecies are assigned to occur in the “time of the end,” a term used in the Book of Daniel five times (Dan. 8:17; 11:35, 40; 12:4, 9). Other predictions will unfold in the “last days,” a phrase coined to identify the time frame prior to the return of the Messiah, listed five times in the New Testament (Acts 2:17; 2 Tim. 3:1; Heb. 1:2; James 5:3; 2 Pet. 3:3). The final outpouring of the Holy Spirit will occur in the “last days” (Acts 2:17) and includes sons and daughters prophesying and experiencing visions and dreams. Among this final generation there is a need-to-know attitude about their future and destiny.


This need to know is obvious when one considers the millions of dollars spent by sincere yet uninformed individuals on fortune-tellers, astrologers, séances, and psychics. According to the Pew Forum for Religion and Public Life, “about 1 in 7 Americans consulted a psychic or fortune teller in 2009.”1 The only reason these false prophets of greed are consulted is to determine the hidden and the unseen and to know in advance the person’s future. Why should the body of Christ sit back and refuse to tell this generation to seek God for His direction, when the adversary will provide a horoscope for that purpose? There is a human need to know, and our knowledge for redemption can be found in the Bible—as well as the guide for practical living found in those inspired Scriptures. However, there are times we are uncertain concerning personal and national decisions that can be seen and understood through visions and dreams.

However, the invisible veil must be pierced in the mind and in the understanding. This begins with the “dream factor.”

Second Chances

To balance out my previous post, I want to discuss second chances. I think most people deserve one.

Many, many years ago when I was a mom with an infant, a two year old, and a four year old, I had a casual luncheon that gave me a unique perspective on second chances.

My four year old son had made friends with a boy in his preschool class and wanted a play date. The other boy's mother seemed normal enough, so I invited the family to lunch after school one day.

The other mom also had an infant (8 weeks old), a two year old, and a four year old. We had greeted one another when we'd pick up our boys, and making another friend seemed like a nice idea. We set a date.

When the day arrived, she and her children came to our home. The boys and even the two-year-old girls seemed to be having fun playing. The other mom and I were in the kitchen as I prepared lunch.

Our date wasn't at all what I'd expected it to be. The other mom seemed unfriendly, distant, and only answered my conversational questions with one-word answers. To say the luncheon was awkward is an understatement. I was tremendously relieved when it came time for our guests to go home.

We continued to smile and greet each other at preschool when our paths would cross. A few weeks later, she invited me and my children to her home for lunch. You can imagine how thrilled I was with that invitation. I tried to politely say no. But she wouldn't have it.

I couldn't imagine why she would want to repeat our miserable first get together, but she was adamant, so I gave in and we set up a date.

Honestly, I even hoped one of my kids would get the sniffles to get us out of that meeting. But that didn't happen, and we joined them for lunch. Again.

The kids were all thrilled and immediately wandered off to play while I sat with my baby in her kitchen, watching the seconds tick by, counting the moments until we could leave.

She poured us some tea and pulled out the chair next me. Her eyes shone with unshed tears. "Thank you for giving me a second chance," she said.

It turns out the morning of our first luncheon she was abandoned by her husband. He told her early in her pregnancy that he didn't want to be married. She hoped it was a phase. It wasn't, and he'd stayed only until the baby was eight weeks old. Her son was so excited at the prospect of coming to my house, she didn't have the heart to cancel. She was so heartbroken, she couldn't even speak. She told me how grateful she was that I welcomed them and that I kept up an ongoing conversation, even if it was one sided.

We enjoyed a nice friendship until my family moved out of town. She got her life together and seemed to become happy again.

Although I can't recall her name, I'll never forget her story and the lesson I learned about always giving someone another chance. You never know the trials someone else is enduring.

Too often we pass by others and never know the hardship that is coloring their lives. So the next time someone seems awkward or unfriendly consider that they could be waging a very private battle, and a simple smile from you could give them a moment of relief.

If fences make good neighbors, do boundaries make good friends?

A few weeks ago I saw an article that says 84% of Facebook users admit to being annoyed by friends on Facebook. Perhaps I’m blessed, but I’m rarely annoyed by my FB friends and am often blessed by people I connect with (mostly) online.

I wonder though, in the frenzy to cultivate and interact with online friends, if we sometimes forget the meaning of true friendship. Ideally there’s a give and take to a relationship, an intention to make your friends as happy as they make you, a desire to be treated as well as you treat your friends. And herein lies the rub: That doesn’t always happen.

If fences make good neighbors, do boundaries make good friends? Should you erect a fence to surround your heart and protect it from careless comments and hurtful behavior? Now I don’t want to have the Great Wall of China encasing my heart, but maybe a pretty picket fence with a lovely design stenciled on the pickets and a pretty gate that opens to true friends.

I am generous to a fault with other people. I always give them leeway. If a careless word is tossed my way, I think that it was unintentional. If someone does something that wounds my heart, I tell myself that they really didn’t mean it that way. If a joke cuts too deeply, I chide myself for being too sensitive. I know that part of the problem is dysfunction from my childhood. I pretty much had to take whatever was thrown my way and swallow it, regardless of whether it made me choke going down.

This image pretty much sums up the way I’ve responded to hurtful actions and words:

Now don’t feel sorry for me. I’m not inundated with awful people in my life. And I believe that often my excuses are spot on. Most people don’t intend to be hurtful. But I’ve had some hard knocks in my life, and I’ve come to the conclusion that life’s too short allow myself to withstand needless pain. If someone wants to be nasty, I don’t have to be a willing victim.

I’ve grown to be an optimist. I’ve concluded that I always want to see the glass as half full, no matter how much liquid is left. I know that the sun will rise tomorrow, and at the end of the day I’ve got a great life.

But still when that little voice from deep within tells me it’s okay to not be a doormat, I often don’t have the courage to stand up for myself. I’m not the only one who’s been thinking about this, my friend (and wonderful author) Courtney Walsh posted about boundaries recently.

So what’s the point, you ask? The point is that I think I’m beginning to gather the strength and dignity to kindly not allow others to roll over me. Now don’t expect an overnight transition--I’m a project, and I’m working on me.

What about you? Do you protect your heart?

The Power of Words

I love great examples of the power of well-crafted words. Enjoy!

2011 ACFW Colorado Writers’ Retreat

I had been looking forward to this year’s writers’ retreat for months, longing for some spiritual refreshment and encouragement on my writing journey.

The retreat was held last weekend, and it was wonderful. The speaker throughout the event was Cec Murphy, an all-around good guy and author of 150+ books.

Cec used his book Knowing God Knowing Myself as a springboard for instruction and discussion. It’s a great book, and I continued to read it after I returned home.

We discussed our significance as both people and authors.

I expected to have an easy, relaxing retreat, feeding from nuggets of wisdom that were easy-to-digest, low-hanging fruit. Instead I got a generous portion of truth and encouragement that was sometimes difficult to swallow. It was a weekend with both tears and laughter.

Some jewels we received:

*What we do doesn’t determine our value. What we are determines our value.

*To find your author’s voice you need to discover who you are.

*Writing gives readers access to your private world. (That’s a scary truth.)

*Where’s nothing wrong with being who you are.

*God uses both our strengths and weaknesses.

*You are more important than what you do or don’t do. (I really needed to hear this!)

·

Reading and Writing

One of the best things a writer can do to grow in their craft is to read -- to read all kinds of books in all kinds of genres.

I recently had the opportunity to read Beside Still Waters by Tricia Goyer. Tricia was kind enough to put me on her influencer list so I got an advanced copy from her publisher.

Having read other books by Tricia, I was eager to read another. I loved her historical romance novels, she creates interesting characters and puts them into emotional times and settings. To tell the truth, I was surprised to see that she'd written an Amish novel.

As expected, Beside Still Waters was beautifully written. I had read a few Amish novels before this one, and they are usually set in an Amish community. This novel is different. The family at the center of the story leaves their closed community to travel to a Amish community that is surrounded by and a part of "the English" world.

I love that Tricia has her characters grappling with their faith and recognizing faith in those who don't live under their strick rules. For me the story boiled down to this issue: trusting in your faith or trusting in God. The habits of a lifetime are firmly ingrained, but a seeking heart and a loving God are powerful motivators.

This book makes you realize that the object of our faith is much greater than our faith itself. I enjoyed visiting a world less hectic than mine and watching characters grow and discover a firmer and truer relationship with God.

Beside Still Waters gave me hours of enjoyment. You should consider putting it on your TBR (to be read) pile.

Sometimes things aren't as they seem

I'm editing my manuscript right now, and part of the book's premise rests on the fact that sometimes things aren't as they seem.

Take a look at the photo above. When I first saw it, I thought it was a herd of horses. Then I looked again. Zebras.

I wonder how much suffering exists in this world by mistaken assumptions. I'm just thinkin'.

What about you? Do you have any thoughts about this?

That creative urge

Art is not a thing; it is a way.

~Elbert Hubbard

I've discovered that people who are prone to creativity often allow their creative urge to be expressed in many ways. I know writers who also give themselves time to indulge in photography, baking, cooking, gardening, decorating, painting, and sculpting.

Before I got serious about writing . . .

I made pillows and throws . . .

and window coverings and table cloths . . .

and table runners.

I even bought vintage beads and created custom buttons for some of my pillows.

It seems that if you have a creative urge it will somehow manifest itself. I still get the urge to pull out my sewing machine, but I mostly want to put words together that will give someone pleasant entertainment or food for thought.

How does the creative urge manifest itself in your life?

(I have photos of many of my pillows, etc. but they're tucked away somewhere, so it was easier to walk through my living room, snapping pictures. One day a friend who was an interior designer came by and saw my pillows. She encouraged me to sell them. I did for a while. I worked with a few designers and sold some of my stuff to some high-end boutiques.)

What do you hear when you're reading?

I know of authors who listen to certain soundtracks while they're writing to inspire them to write with emotion or to add authenticity to their story. But what I'm thinking of today are the sounds you hear while reading a book.

It's important to incorporate sensory details (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste) into a story to transport your reader. One of the details that I appreciate when I'm reading is narrative that conveys the sounds the characters are hearing.

If the setting is outside, perhaps in a wooded area, I'd like the author to find a unique way to describe these sounds. I'd like the description to deepen the characterization of the protagonist--tell me if the sounds are soothing or terrifying, depending on the character's circumstances.

If your character is in a city, this is what I'd expect to hear at some point in the novel. What would the character be thinking in reaction to this city noise? Please, tell me.

Or perhaps your character is at the beach and this is the background noise to an important conversation. How would that sound enhance your story? How could you work it into the theme of the book?

It's windy today in south Denver. The sound of the wind can add tension and drama to a story. You could write about the sound of dried leaves scudding across a parking lot or a tree limb groaning as it rubs a fence or it can add whimsy as the wind tickles a set of outdoor chimes.

Just thinking and hoping I've inspired you to think as well.

Thoughts about Writing Contests

I’m happy to host Tiffany Colter, a writer and speaker I met through ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers). Tiff has written for a number of print magazines, local papers and e-zines, and is working toward publication of her first book. She also runs the Writing Career Coach, a site devoted to mentoring aspiring writers in the basics of platform development, marketing and craft. Her blog is full of free information as well as a coaching program for those who want one-on-one coaching.

Today Tiff will discuss the importance of entering writing contests to build your career.

MD: There are all kinds of writing contests and several reasons to enter one. Tiff, how would you advise a writer about finding a good contest to enter?

TC: I think the most important thing to look for is what kind of feedback you’re going to get. Whether it’s a smaller contest with only one or two judges in a small local group, or whether it’s a large national writing group, the biggest benefit, especially for writers starting out, is that feedback and developing a thick skin. Once you’ve gotten to the place where you’re starting to get some interest in your writing, where you’re starting to develop in your craft and you’ve gotten requested fulls or partials, then it’s important to see who the final round judges are. That’ll help open the writing door.

MD: Writing contests are not for the faint of heart because writers receive unbiased feedback on their craft and storytelling abilities. I understand you’re judging a contest, 2011 MBT Frasier Contest. Can you tell us about that?

TC: The Frasier Contest is sponsored by My Book Therapy. I’m actually the coordinator of the Frasier contest, which means I oversee the entries and work with the judges. The score sheet alone, oh my goodness. The kind of instructions we give the judges, it’s one that gives feedback. The unique thing about the Frasier is that every judge is asked to find one thing that they really liked and to comment on that, in addition to the other critique comments.

MD: What’s the prize for the contest?

TC: The prize is a $500 scholarship (free tuition) to one of the My Book Therapy Retreats. What’s really great about it is these events are only about twenty writers, maybe. You work back and forth with Susie Warren (of My Book Therapy) for a couple of days, really building your craft and developing your writing.

It gives you the opportunity to get judging feedback, which is very important, but also if you win instead of just getting a plaque (which you do get) you also get the opportunity to work one-on-one and in a small group setting with a bestselling author of more than thirty books. It’s really very cool.

Thank you for letting me talk a little bit about the Frasier. The Frasier closes on March 31^st. We’ve got a lot of great prizes for everybody. The awards ceremony will be at the pizza party during the ACFW conference this year. Being a writer myself and seeing the way the score sheet is put together and the way it’s built and the kind of heart that Susie has going into it, it’s a great contest for aspiring writers and I would definitely recommend people enter the contest.

MD: What’s the best reason for a writer to enter a contest?

TC: There’s a couple of reasons to enter. One of the best is practicing what it is to be a writer. Writers have to write on deadlines, writing contests offer deadlines. Writers have to open themselves up to critique and criticism. Writing contests definitely offer that. Writers have to get the eye of editors and agents. When you move into the final rounds of some of the larger contests that’s exactly what you get. Really what a writing contest does is train you for living the writing life.

MD: How will entering a contest boost a writer’s career?

TC: Writing contests can boost your career because you get a better read from the editors and agents. Even if your craft isn’t quite there in the opening pages, the editor and agent are required to read the entire piece. That gives you a few pages to make your sale instead of a few lines. If you’re a slow starter and an agent or editor is reading your piece and on page three the story really starts to grab them, you might have an open door to have them say either I’d really like to see more of this, or to say hey listen, your story starts at this point. Start it here and then see where you go.

MD: What’s the best attitude for a writer entering a contest?

TC: Don’t go in feeling like you’ve only succeeded if you win. The attitude to have is that you’re entering the contest to see what issues you consistently have in your writing, what areas need to improve. Contests give you an opportunity to get feedback from numerous people. While some people like to bemoan the fact that writing contests are subjective, I would like to present the truth of the writing industry. It’s all highly subjective, whether it’s an editor, an agent, or a reader. The feedback you receive is the real benefit. Don’t take on a confrontational or adversarial relationship with the judges. It’s not a competition of judges vs. authors. Keep that in mind when you’re evaluating your score sheet. Envision the score sheet and any comments being said with a loving voice and a smiling eye.

MD: How should a writer evaluate their contest score sheet?

TC: Do not take every single thing that every single judge says and change every single bit of your manuscript. That is a big fat no-no. You have a unique author’s voice. You’re not trying to transform yourself into a variety hodgepodge quilt of judges’ comments. What you are trying to do is see if there are consistent issues that are coming up time and again. Or, look at some of the feedback and see if something they said makes sense.

If anybody has questions for Tiff, you can contact her at Tiffany@WritingCareerCoach.com or through herblog, or via phone.

Celebrating Irish Roots

Contrary to what some people believe, I'm not Italian. :) Yes, my last name is. And so are my husband and children, but I'm 3/4 Irish.

I'm currently writing a novel set in 1913 that includes an Irish family living in Troy, NY (where I was born). In a beautiful moment of serendipity, a relative sent me some genealogy info, and I connected online with a 3rd cousin (from Ireland!) who's shared some lovely photographs.

This is a photo of my grandmother (1879 - 1954) and her family. It was probably taken in Troy. She's standing top left. I don't know the date of the picture, but the little girl in the center, my great Aunt Mamie (who I knew) was born in 1888. So my guess is that the portrait was taken before the turn of the last century.

The young fellow on the bottom of the picture, my great uncle Jeremiah looks a bit like Eddie Munster, don't you think?

Here are some close-ups:

My great grandmother, Mary Gleeson Minehan (1849 - 1923), is actually a year younger than her husband, but she looks awfully old, poor dear.

I guess having eight children in those days really aged you.

This is Edmond Minehan, (1848-1914) my great-grandfather.

He was a skilled laborer, a puddler, for the Burden Iron Company. He separated the pig iron from the good iron. They say if you weren't a good puddler, you weren't a puddler for long because the job would kill you. It was hot, dangerous work. The factory closed for the summer months, and he took the family to Saratoga Springs where he worked at the Saratoga Hotel and gambled at the racetrack. :) My mother said she'd heard he made more money in those three summer months than he did for the nine months he worked in the iron factory.

The older gentleman is my great-great-grandfather, William Gleeson.

He looks a little stern and perhaps a bit sour in the photo. I hope he was a happier chap in person.

My great-grandfather also took his family back to Ireland (where he and his wife were born) for several vacations. Here's a photo of my grandmother, a few of her sisters, and some Irish relatives in Ireland in 1907.

In this picture my grandmother is standing, second from left. My Aunt Mamie, the little girl from the top photo, is standing on the end on the right.

If you look to the left side of the photo you'll see a horse's backside. My father used to point to this picture and say, "That's the horse's ass I always knew was in your mother's family."

In my current novel I'm using names of my relatives and putting my characters in their homes in South Troy. Even though they lived in the city, my great grandparents maintained a small farm located on First Street that backed to the Hudson River. On the block just north of the farm, the houses were side-by-side row homes on little city lots. When my mother was still a child, the city bought the property to build a public school.

Go n-eírí an bóthar leat.

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.